These days, ‘purpose’ seems to be a topic that is thrown about so casually. As though it should be really easy to find. It seems that way, at least, as you scroll through the socials and every other person is either; living their best life, discovering their passions, setting up an online business of their dreams, following their calling or finding their true purpose in life. It almost seems as if you could just walk into a pharmacy or your local organic health store and ask for, “a bottle of purpose please”. Take one pill 3 times a day and then bam, there you have it! You’ll have found your purpose and can now live a life fulfilled. But obviously if that was the case, you’d no doubt have heard about it by now! And unfortunately (or fortunately) it is not that easy.
If you are thinking about your greater purpose in life and you have yet to find it, it is likely that you might feel like there must be more to life than what you’re currently experiencing. Maybe you feel stuck? Maybe you feel like you are missing something? Or you just want to work out what the bloody hell to do with your life.
The good news is you are on the right track, by finding your life’s purpose you will certainly be a step closer to living a more fulfilled life. Life purpose has been defined as; the reason you get up in the morning, your ‘why’, the aim of your life. These are all pretty bold and attractive sounding concepts. But I bet you’re feeling like you must have wagged the class in school when they were talking about it. Or somewhere along the line you missed the ‘how to find you purpose’ memo.
Mark Twain
Here is the thing, you are not alone! As Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck puts it; “Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Even after we finish school. Even after we get a job. Even after we’re making money.” Food for thought, and I bet you’re shaking your head (or nodding) begging the question, ‘well then, how the f*ck do I find my purpose?’
There are a plethora of things you can do to discover your purpose and to help you work out what you really want to do in life. But before we delve into any of them, let’s talk about why exactly you are struggling to find your purpose?
As a kid it is likely you got asked what you want to be when you grow up. Gradually over time though, ‘what do you want to be’ shifts to ‘what do you want to do‘? With that shift your answers change, from being things that you’re interested in and that sound fun, to things that will; bring you a good income, gain you status, get you a good job in an industry that’s growing. You stop thinking about fulfillment, enjoyment and contribution and you start to think about survival, status, wealth and success.
Not for a moment am I suggesting that you can’t achieve fulfillment, happiness or ‘give back’ by achieving success, growing your wealth or climbing the corporate ladder. However as a ‘Generation Cusp’er’, which is what I like to call myself and my peers (we fall into the cusp of Gen X and Y), we grew up with the belief drummed into us that; if you don’t go to university and get a degree you’ll never find a good job, and then you won’t earn a respectable wage, which means you won’t be be able to buy a that house on that street in that desirable neighbourhood. Basically you’ll never make it in life…How sad.
So if, 36-ish years on, after going to university, getting that great job, seeing success after success, buying that house, travelling the world, and climbing the corporate ladder, you somehow do not feel the euphoria you expected to feel, maybe this is why; you aren’t living a purposeful life. If, despite all your achievements, you just feel a bit ‘meh’, then it is likely ‘purpose’ is what is missing. If the idea of finding what you are supposed ‘be’ in this life is intriguing you yet you feel totally lost and stumped as to how, that is excellent! I am here to let you know that you are not alone and it is OK, it’s not your fault. Societal expectations have not supported you in living a purposeful or truly fulfilled life, they have helped you gain material possessions, constantly compare yourself to others and forever be seeking the next ‘thing’ that should bring happiness.
It is no wonder that you have no idea what your greater purpose in life is or how to find it. We have never been taught how. Little emphasis is placed on listening to how your intuition guides you to follow your heart, and do what really brings you joy. You fear uncertainty and lack of control, so it feels impossible to trust in the process and the Universe. Paulo Coelho writes in The Alchemist; “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”, I can see the eye roll happening as you read this, “if only it was that easy!”. I feel you, it isn’t that easy. It is scary to just abandon everything you have ever known and been taught, to walk the path less travelled. So here are my 5 hot tips to help you get started on your purpose finding mission:
In yogic terms we talk about ‘finding your Dharma’ which can be interpreted as; fulfilling your duty by way of the universal law. I.E. ‘What you were put on this Earth to do’. The Bhagavad Gita states that “It is better to do your own Dharma even imperfectly, than someone else’s Dharma perfectly”. I interpret this as you will never feel a sense of true happiness and fulfillment if you ignore what makes your heart sing! Your purpose does not have to relate to your job, it can be present in your life in other ways. It could be a hobby or a passion of yours. Whatever it may be there is no right or wrong, simply do not ignore it. By living a life where you are chasing what you think should make you happy because it appears to have brought happiness or success to others will never truly make you happy.
‘Your true riches are in your heart’ – Art by Ann-Maree Morgan
I’ll leave you with one more pearl of wisdom from Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist; “Wherever your heart is, that is where you will find your treasure.”. Your purpose comes from within you. This is the best news ever, as even though you may not have learned how to find it up to this point, it means it can never be too late to start on your purpose finding journey.
But if that still scares the bejesus out of you, then let me help you. I am a Personal Power Life Coach, I specifically help people like you who know there is something more to life, but have no idea how to act upon those thoughts. I would be honoured to help you down the path of self discovery and purpose finding.
Big love, Nikki x
* PS: Here’s hoping you make it to age 80, feel free to replace the age 80 with whatever number you deem fit for your existence.
PPS: When I reach 80 I imagine sitting on my deck, in my rocking chair, with my nanna blanket over my knees, there will be grandchildren all around and I will have stories, many of them (mostly funny – well I hope funny!), and wisdom to share about living life…this story, to be continued in another blog post, on another day!
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Beautiful You Coaching Academy – Life Coach